April 16, 2015

逆水行舟

好久没回来了,因为总是没有像下笔的感觉。太对不起我的部落格了😣😣  
现在四月了,中六结束了,每个人各忙各自的事情,像我一样从来没有什么生活目标的,怎么办呢?这段工作的日子里,只让我被我自己看得更清楚。没什么志愿就算了,还发现自己越来越差劲,不管去到哪里工作,都是皱着眉回家,成天就唉声叹气。我严重怀疑自己的社交能力与工作能力,再加上性格上的扭曲,为什么我不再看到明日的美好?一个大女孩最珍贵的这几年难道我就要这样的过吗?我挣扎,却再也找不到她所谓的那个美好善良的自己。我不是为了变得更好才改变的吗?为什么到最后却在听你们怀念以前的我?大概最荒谬的是,我也想不到你们该喜欢现在的我的理由。看着她越来越光亮耀眼,再看看褪色的自己,该如何是好?☔️

January 12, 2015

School Reopening

At 6 am, my alarm rang. It's still the same  bed, same time, same routine as brushed teeth, bathed, changed clothes, had my oat meal breakfast, tied my hair and went to school. But there were some changes here and there. The clothes were not school uniform anymore, my hair was tied with some colourful ribbon, not just blue black or white anymore, the heels i wore, wasnt the white colour school shoes anymore and the school i went,  not SMK TD anymore. 

There was a few seconds, just a few, I thought I was still going to my Form6. Inthe bathroom, memories of old hard time of Form6 keep haunting me. How good if there was Form7 or more and more, I thought.  

In the classroom, I was the one who stand in front of the classroom and givespeech ans I found that it's actually really hard for someone new like me to hold the situation. They talked, they laughed, they ran and they played. I wanted to tell them, kids dont complain school reopening, you will regtret it one day. Maybe you dont know, cuz you wasnt me. Appreciate your deskmates and classmates, you will miss them so much so much that you even want to go back to school after you graduate. The impact they give you might not be something you can imagine of. 

Aikkk, kids, you will know it someday, kids.